I often feel terrified on this journey of listening to the inner whispers of my soul.
Because souls — it turns out — love to evolve.
Or at least mine does.
It loves to grow and change. It loves to stretch and expand. It loves to shift again and again, as I become more and more of WHO I AM. Or who I was meant to be.
But while my soul is happily evolving, my ego is holding on for dear life, saying thing like:
“Makena, what on earth are you doing?! Things are good. Life is pretty great. Why would you go and f*ck that up by changing things now?”
I know that part of me is just trying to keep me safe in the best way it knows how.
It’s also trying to keep *itself* safe because it knows that when I do shift and evolve — it will die.
That part of me will have to fall away as the new me is born. It will no longer be my identity. It will be replaced by… something unknown. Someone I haven’t been before.
It’s terrifying. And exhilarating.
Once I get past the fear of the unknown… and the grieving of what was… an excitement begins to bloom.
Ahh yes. This. Expansion. Freedom. Self-Expression. This is my playground. This is the sweet nectar of surrender.
When beneath it all, I hear a quiet voice… “Thank you for your courage.” I feel a sense of contentment knowing I’m on the right path. I am more myself than I was before.
I revel in these moments of clarity because I know what is coming…
Sooner or later, a deep down pull… a whisper that says, “it’s that time, my friend.”
And so we begin again.
xoxo,
Makena
